Should You Try To Get Your Ex Back?
Jan
20
If you’ve made a decision that your recent breakup with your ex was a mistake and you want to try to get your ex back, you first need make sure that is truly what you want. The breakup of a relationship is a very emotional event. And where emotions are involved, emotionally based decisions can’t be far behind. In general, the closer you are to a situation the less objectivity you will tend to have about that situation. Emotions tend to cloud normal logical decision making processes, so you need to take a step back from the situation and truly evaluate whether trying to get your ex back is what you want to do.
The other important thing to remember is that you only control half of the equation. Remember a relationship has two people involved and sometimes, depending on the reasons for the original breakup, there may be more than two people involved. If your ex left you for another person then the task of winning them back will be a more difficult one. The second factor that you need to look at is how long your relationship had ben going on before the breakup occurred and how long had there been obvious problems in the relationship. Was this a long-term relationship, or was it just a few weeks old? If it was a long-term relationship, there’s a lot of history there and usually the reasons behind the breakup are more serious than with a relationship that is just a few weeks old.
Whichever situation you are in, the one thing you definitely do not want to do is to come across as being a pest. Don’t call incessantly, don’t text message them over and over again and certainly don’t turn into a stalker, showing in places where you know he or she will be and try to pretend that is was just a coincidence. Your ex will see right through that for sure. No one likes to be around an insecure desperate person and if you do any of the above things you might come across as just that. So the best advice at this stage is to back off, let some time pass and give yourself a chance to truly evaluate what it is you really want.
If after you’ve let some time pass and you still arrive at the same decision that you want to try to win your ex back, it would be helpful to enlist the assistance of a third party. Ideally, this 3rd party will be someone who knows both of you and can act as an intermediary. Because what you need to know right now is the reasons for the breakup, what’s your ex was thinking when he/she broke up with you. When you know why the breakup occurred, you’ll have a much better idea of whether a reconciliation is even possible. And be prepared to reach the conclusion that it’s not posssible. You simply can’t force yourself on someone who is no longer interested in you.
Lastly if you are eventually successful in getting your ex back, make certain that you change things in the relationship. There’s an old saying “if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you keep getting what you been getting”. This is certainly true when it comes to relationships and getting back together with your ex. If you just continue on with the relationship the way it was before the breakup, chances are history will repeat itself. So something has to change. And you can both talk throughwhat went wrong originally to make sure the problems don’t develop again.
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